My love,

I guess this is really the end. It just hurts so much. I'm sorry we couldn't make it. I'm sorry we have to do this. I hurt so much. I can't even begin to describe the pain. I love you. I love you so much, but I guess we have to let go.

You will always have my heart.

Always have.

Always will.

Yours,

Anj

There is chaos all around me, but the silence I hear is deafening.

I miss you.

But I can't let you hurt me.

I can't.

I love you.

Please stop hurting me.

My love,

Today I passed by your hometown. As I drove past the sign leading me to where you grew up, I thought of the memories you had as you transitioned from childhood to becoming a full-pledged adult ready to build dreams for your family in another land. 

I imagined you touring me around your hometown, animatedly telling me stories about each place, sharing with me your memories with every story told. I envisioned us walking hand in hand, striding in laughter, stories limitless. I hoped you would take me to the home you grew up in, taking me to every room and corner, letting me savor each moment before introducing me to your family. I'd  have a great time and leave, with the promise of a tomorrow to make new memories. 

But as I passed the sign today, I felt you going farther away from me. It was as if I never had a grasp of you at all. Everything is just a memory now, even I to you. No new memories of us to be made.

It still hurts how easy it was for you to forget. 

I still love you... I hope this pain (or love) becomes a memory too. 

Still yours,

Anj

My love,

I'm sorry it has come to this. I'm devastated, my mind and body numb from the pain of not being able to talk to you. I feel like I am trapped in a dark room, void of all light and emotion, my heart reeling from the intense pain.

I miss you.

I miss your voice... your voice that gives me the strength to continue on with my day. I miss your laugh... you make me glad to live. I miss everything about you, even your bad jokes (sometimes, even mood).

I love you. I love you so damn much.

Please don't push me away.


Still yours,

Anj.

Before I met you, I could only write when I was in love. Words came freely, pouring out of me sometimes at a speed I cannot control.

When you came into my life, I stopped.

I ceased writing, resuming only when we would have fights, both petty and not. I couldn't find the words to describe how happy you made me feel. I was in bliss, having no use for words and choosing to feel all these emotions and savor them while they lasted. You became my happiness, more than words could ever provide.

But now I write. I grab my laptop and share all my thoughts and feelings, fingers tip-tapping on a keyboard, trying hard not to let my tears fall.

Sometimes I hurt too.

I know love isn't all about the roses, but of its thorns too. I love you and with it comes my acceptance of everything about you. I hope you know and remember that.

I don't love you any less. I love you with even more intensity now that I know that you need me most. I choose to absorb all of your pain even if you choose not to share it with me.

I love you, my dear Patrick. Please do not forget that.

It's been 3 days.


I feel shattered, weak on my feet. I feel lost. I thought you were gonna find me, but apparently you're lost yourself. It's just been so hard when everything reminds me of you.

9 AM - you come out of work
we spend the morning together
Monday is TWD day
we laugh at everything in between
you sleep at 4 PM
i work and wake you up at 10 PM
Sleep at 4


I love you, but I hurt so much. Do you or did you even care for me at all? Do you even remember why we fell in love?

Please give me something. Please give me my life back.

If you ever loved me at all.

I love you at an intensity I didn't even think I could. You know i always will.

My dearest Patrick,

Today I realized that I love you more than ever.

I love you more than I love my morning coffee, strong and bold, my love erupting like a hot burst of flames engulfing my inner core.

I love you more than I love my books, your wit a revelation every single time, my mind a garble of words I am unable to speak and comprehend.

I love you more than I love my bed and sheets, your affection keeping me warm during the coldest and loneliest nights.

I love you more than I love my pen and paper, our memories writing their own unique story.

I love you more than life itself, overwhelmingly happy and sad, all at once.

My love, you are my heart and my soul.

Without you, I am lost.


Yours,

Anj.